The Foolish Emperor.
Molly sat on her father’s shoulders, high above the crowd, waiting for the Emperor to come.
“I have heard that he has the most magnificent clothes,” said Molly’s Dad. “But you can only see them if you are clever. Stupid people can’t see them at all.”
Molly wondered what the Emperor’s magical new clothes would be like. Would they be made from gold? Would they have diamonds and pearls sewn into them? Would they light up like a christmas tree?
There was a babble of excitement as a line of cars pulled into view. People pushed and shoved to get a better look.
Molly saw it all.
“What’s happening?” asked Molly’s dad.” I can’t see a thing.”
“There’s lots of police on motorbikes and a long white car,” said Molly. “There’s some men in the back of the car and one of them is standing up. He’s waving and everyone is cheering.”
“What about the clothes?” asked her dad. “What are they like? Are they made of gold?”
“Oh my goodness!” said Molly, putting her hand up to her mouth.
The line of cars rolled slowly past and Molly sat quite still on her father’s shoulders, staring in disbelief.
“Tell me!” said Molly’s dad. “What’s happening?”
“Daddy,” said Molly at last. “The Emperors not got any clothes on at all.”
A woman nearby gave Molly a pitying look and whispered to her husband:
“Poor child - she cant’ see the clothes. She must be simple.”
“But he’s naked!” said Molly. “The only thing he’s wearing is a wig. He looks really silly.”
Silence fell over the crowd and every face turned turned toward Molly and her Dad. Molly was quite right; the Emperor was as naked as the day he’s been born (apart from the wig) but no-one else had dared to admit it.
The Emperor told the driver to stop the long white car and he shouted over at the little girl:
“Listen to me, kid. I’ll have you know that my clothes are magnificent!”
“But you’ve got nothing on,” giggled Molly. “And you’ve got goose pimples all over your -“
“Shut up kid!” bellowed the Emperor. “If you can’t see my clothes it just shows how ignorant you are.”
“That’s silly” said Molly. “Are you sure you’re the Emperor?”
The emperor’s eyes flashed with rage and his face turned purple.
“No one talks to me that way!” he yelled. “Lock that child up!”
A few people took up the chant:
“Lock her up - lock her up!”
They didn’t know that the Emperor was picking on a six year old girl, they just liked joining in with shouting things.
The Emperor turned to the police officers on their motorbikes.
“Do your duty,” he commanded. “Arrest her!”
The police officers looked at each other uncomfortably.
“With the greatest respect, Mr. Emperor, Sir,” said the bravest of the police officer. “She’s not actually done anything illegal -“
“She’s a communist! She’s a revolutionary. She’s a traitor and a trouble maker!”
“She’s only a child -“
“Then lock up her father. It’s gotta be his fault she’s so ignorant! Lock up her teachers. They are the ones to blame. Lock them all up!”
The other men sitting in the Emperor’s car were dressed in grey. They had grey eyes and grey hair and grey faces. They were so very grey and forgettable that when you tried to look at them your eyes just sort of slid off sideways, as if the men were covered in invisible slime. With the emperor shouting and waving his arms, no-one even noticed they were there.
“Time to go sir,” whispered one of the grey men to the Emperor. “There are thousands more people waiting to see you. Just keep on waving. Everything will be fine.”
The Emperor told the the driver to start up again and the relieved police officers jumped back onto their motor bikes.
As the Emperors’s motorcade passed out of sight the people in the crowd began to argue. Everyone seen the naked Emperor but most of them didn’t want to look stupid so they pretended that they had seen the imaginary clothes. The people who weren’t afraid to tell the truth tried to reason with the ones who believed in the Emperor’s clothes but it proved difficult. The believers called the doubters rude names and the doubters called the believers rude names back. The believers knew, deep down, that they were talking rubbish so they shouted louder and louder, while the doubters got angrier and angrier as they discovered just how difficult it is to have a conversation with someone who has decided to believe in a lie.
Everyone went home grumpy and upset, except for Molly and her Dad, who went home and had baked beans on toast for tea.
The grey men sitting in the back of the long white car smiled. They knew that the people would be busy for a long time, arguing about the Emperor’s new clothes. They went back to the palace and began filling their pockets from the imperial treasury, selling off the furniture and stealing the taxes that had been set aside for the upkeep of schools, hospitals and orphanages.
The Emperor made lots of new laws. He abolished Wednesdays. He made it illegal to wear purple and he ordered a team of engineers to cut the country off from the rest of the continent and have it pulled out to sea by a fleet of enormous tug boats, making the county into a giant island. He ordered golden statues of himself to be put up all over the place and told the schools to teach all the children that the earth is flat. The Emperor had always hated the idea of a round earth. The mere thought of it made him dizzy.
The grey men nodded and smiled and told the Emperor how wise he was. When they suggested that he should start a war with a neighbouring country and he sent the army off at once to start fighting.
When Molly went back to school on Monday her teacher asked her what she’d done at the weekend she she drew a picture of herself sitting on her Dad’s shoulders watching the naked Emperor driving past. When the teacher saw the picture she laughed. The Emperor did look silly, with his waving arms and a cloud of hot air coming out of his mouth. Molly’s teacher gave her a gold star and put the picture on the wall outside the classroom.
The teacher had no time for the foolish Emperor and she didn’t care who knew it.
When the parents came to pick their children up at the end of the day they saw the picture and they laughed too. Some of the parents took photographs of Molly’s picture with their phones and they sent the photographs to their friends. The friends all laughed and they sent the picture to their friends and, before long, the picture had travelled round the world several times over. Most of the people who saw the picture laughed. Even the people who had shouted about how great the Emperor’s new clothes were had trouble keeping a straight face when they saw it.
It really was a very funny picture.
The soldiers on their way to start a war saw the picture and laughed. None of them wanted to fight the people in the neighbouring country, who had been their friends for years, so the generals sent the Emperor lots of pictures of the army doing warlike things and then just sat round, playing cards and drinking tea. They arranged a football game with the soldiers from the neighbouring country and afterwards they all had a nice picnic together.
The people ignored the Emperor’s new laws. They had all seen the picture by then and they knew that he was a idiot. The Emperor made angry speeches and threatened to lock up everyone who wore purple but the people refused to be intimidated. They simply got on with their lives and did their best to live in peace with each other. The police pretended not to notice the increasing number of people wearing purple and most they all took Wednesdays off.
There came a day when the Emperor stepped out onto the balcony of his palace to make a speech to find only three people and a dog waiting for him. One of the people had come into the town square by accident, looking for the post office, and the man with the dog had just been passing by on his morning walk and stopped to see what the fuss was about.
The Emperor began shouting about how much better off everyone was now that there were no Wednesdays but the three people and the dog soon got bored and wandered off, leaving the Emperor talking to the birds.
The Emperor went back into his palace and sat in his big golden chair. Everyone else had gone home. Even the grey men had gone. They had seen the way things were going and had sneaked out of the back door of the palace with their pockets stuffed with gold.
The Emperor looked at the trail of ashes that the grey men had left on the carpet and felt suddenly foolish. Even he was beginning to have doubts about the marvellous clothes that the grey men had sold him.
The Emperor found some socks. His feet felt cosier with them on so he put on some trousers and a shirt. He put on a coat and shoes, a false beard and a hat and he went out into the city.
The people seemed to be getting on fine without him. The argued with each other from time to time but they found ways to work things out. Mostly they co-operated and mostly they were happy.
The Emperor wandered the streets looking for someone to boss about but when he tried doing a bit of shouting people just gave him pitying looks and walked off shaking their heads.
At long last, the Emperor found his way to the zoo. He looked at the penguins and the monkeys. He looked at the snakes, the lizards, the bats and the buffaloes. He liked the elephants best of all and he fed them his sandwiches.
At the end of the day the Emperor set off for home with a heavy heart. He’d had fun at the zoo and he didn’t fancy going back to the lonely palace. it was then that he saw the notice taped to the side of the elephant enclosure:
Elephant keeper wanted. No experience necessary. Must be good at shovelling dung.
The Emperor took the job at once. He was given a little hut to live in next to the elephant house and spent the rest of his days there in peace, shovelling huge piles of dung and feeding peanuts to the elephants.
The people of the country decided that they were all much better off without an Emperor. They passed a law against having one ever again and they all lived happily ever after.
Molly grew up to be a famous artist and her mum and dad were very proud of her.
Some people say that the grey men escaped to another country and are busy causing mischief to this very day, whispering their foul plans into the ears of another Foolish Emperor. Others say that they got lost in a deep dark forest and were eaten by weasels.
I think that you should choose the ending that you like best.
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